A life steeped in desire,
or a life from which desire has entirely vanished—
which do I truly desire?
At times, it seems that people
cannot endure a life without desire
more than a life consumed by it.
They come to believe
that only within the madness of desire running wild
can life remain vivid and alive.
What people fear may not be desire itself,
but boredom.
When desire disappears,
they find themselves overtaken by boredom,
as though life itself were dissolving,
as though their own existence were slowly wearing away.
And so they come to believe
that life and love can be confirmed
only when desire moves restlessly within them.
That is why people do not wish
for desire to disappear.
Yet desire disappears.
Even the desire that feels incapable of fading
cannot escape disappearance.
In truth,
it vanishes quickly.
The moments in which we clung to desire,
leaning upon it like a walking stick,
crumble with the futility
of hands clutching at straw.
And so people continue
their lives and loves
between desire and boredom.
In truth, boredom is not merely
what remains after desire has disappeared.
It is another desire—
a desire for the desire that has been lost.
That is why desire and boredom
appear as two faces of the same thing.
And so,
life and love exist between them.
Life and love are neither desire nor boredom,
but something that dwells in between.
Just as life and love are neither one nor the other,
desire and boredom are not opposites—
not affirmation and negation—
but conditions suspended between.
So perhaps life is, rather, compassion.
And perhaps love is, rather, endurance.
To continue life and love
is to silently endure
compassion for what has been lost,
and the long, cold, wordless turning away
that follows.
Between desire and boredom.
And so,
what is it that I desire?
A life steeped in desire?
Or a life emptied of desire?
The only certain conclusion is this:
Whichever it may be,
I remain, still,
within a life steeped in desire.
bangsanghyeok exhibition
< love ending >
2023. 12.5 - 12.31 / 13:00 -23:00
33, Hoenamu-ro 39-gil, Yongsan-gu, Seoul, Republic of Korea / graphic
